Is San Francisco Safe? In a word-Yes. Even the Tenderloin

In a Facebook page about San Francisco travel, the most asked question is “Is San Francisco safe?” Most people respond with a hysterical “Avoid the Tenderloin!”  Most often those posts are from people who have never even seen the Tenderloin.

Map of Tenderloin in San Francisco. It is a poor neighborhood, not a dangerous one.

First of all, San Francisco is safe. It in not even in the top 20 most dangerous cities.

San Francisco is a city. Cites have problems a suburb doesn’t. A city also has more culture, sites, entertainment, restaurants, museums and general excitement and simulation than the suburbs. That’s why people come to San Francisco on when they travel and not Walnut Creek.

The big crime is San Francisco is breaking into cars. If you don’t have a car, you’re already ahead of the game. The other crime is dipping into your purse or backpack when you’re not looking, so keep it zipped and pay attention. Thieves want your stuff, as easy as possible. If you make it difficult they move on to someone else. No one wants to hurt you to get your stuff. That’s too much trouble, and alerts the cops.

As for The Tenderloin, it has poor people, not dangerous people. There’s a big difference. Many of the residents live in SRO’s or Single Room Occupancy. Think of it as a dorm room. It is a room, sometimes with a wash basin. The bathroom is down the hall. So social life is hanging out on the sidewalk. They don’t want to bother you. Same with homeless people.

People buy drugs in the Tenderloin. Drug dealers want to keep things quiet, which means keeping things safe for the people who wander into the area. If people get hurt, cops show up and that’s bad for business.

The Tenderloin has the most children per square block of any neighborhood in San Francisco. It is also an immigrant neighborhood. There are good restaurants to serve the locals.

The Tenderloin is uncomfortable to witness. That is not the same as being dangerous. Of course I don’t suggest you stroll through it late at night not paying attention, but I wouldn’t suggest that for any neighborhood.

Stop listening to the fear mongers, especially the spittletwists and clatterjaws on Fox News. San Francisco is safe.

Map of Immigrant Influence of San Francisco’s food culture

San Francisco has more restaurants per capita than any other American city. And many of those restaurants reflect cooking from their home country. This map shows the history and influence of various cuisines. And some are origin stories of what are now familiar food.
This includes audio stories about each restaurant or store. This map is a project of the California Migration Museum.

Melting Spots Immigrant Food Map

Immigrant Food Map of San Francisco

By the way, the Garlic Noodles at Thanh Long are worth the trip to the outer, outer Sunset District. They will change your life. Plus very few visitors ever make it out that far, so you not only have an amazing meal, you will have bragging rights.

Were should we eat? A link that will get you started on San Francisco restaurant search.

San Francisco is a food town. We have more restaurants per capita than any other American city. Not more restaurants, because San Francisco’s population is small compared to other cities. We’re smaller than Columbus, Indianapolis, and Charlotte. But per person, we have more places to eat than New York, LA, and Chicago.
The choice can be overwhelming. There is anxiety to get the best meal possible every time you eat. It is best to get rid of this fear, because while every meal may not be mind blowing, it’s going to be pretty damn good. Unless you eat at most of the places on Fisherman’s Wharf, but that’s another story. A lot of the restaurants there thrive on the visiting tourists, not repeat customers.
Because San Franciscan’s love food, each neighborhood has many excellent restaurants that cater to the locals. If they weren’t good, they’d go out of business.
I’ve listed a lot of restaurants on my website. I also have recommendations I send to my guests.
The San Francisco Chronicle is a good resource for searching. The Chronicle has excellent food critics, and their recommendations and articles can be found here:
San Francisco Chronicle Food.

The search tool is a bit wonky, but worth a go. I’ve found the articles more useful.

 

Keys Jazz Club–Jazz in North Beach

So you’re in San Francisco, had a great dinner (and if you didn’t, you made an effort not to, or insisted on eating on Fisherman’s Wharf), and are wondering how to end the evening. Guests often ask “Where can I hear live jazz?” Fortunately, there are a many good jazz venues.

Keys Jazz Bistro Live Jazz in San Francisco North Beach

Keys Jazz Club in North Beach is a local’s favorite. They have a good happy hour. The club is intimate and every seat is good. As is the food. And drinks. And staff.

Keys Jazz Bistro Happy hour and late night menu

And of course, the music.

The Listening Room is where you see the band at Keys Jazz Bistro. You can sit in the lounge if you want to socialize and still hear music.

There are two sets Wednesday through Sunday, with an additional late set on Saturday. Prices vary depending on the show. All ages are welcome.

The last time I was a Keys, I got tickets for the early set and was allowed to stay for the second set. I’m not going to say this is a regular perk of getting to the early set, but it’s possible if the second set is lightly ticketed they’ll let you stay. It’s not guaranteed, but it has been my experience in other clubs in other cities that they’d rather have a venue full of people who appreciate jazz, rather then be strict about kicking people out when a set is over.

North Beach audience enjoying the band on stage at Keys Jazz Bistro.

 

There are few places as good as this to end your night right. Take advantage.

Keys Jazz Bistro
498 Broadway in North Beach
Corner of Kearny, and a block down from Columbus Ave

I tried to find a phone number and I don’t think they have one. The website is good enough.

 

 

 

 

Travel Hack: what to do if you buy more stuff than will fit in your luggage

A few years ago I was in Paris and went to a flea market. Not the big Les Puces de Saint Ouen, which is always worth hunting for things you never knew you needed. This was a weekend flea market, set up nearby.
I found an object I had never seen before or since. It was a 1930’s countertop lamp with 4 sides, meant to sit on the concession stand or a shelf in a movie theater lobby. It stood about 10 inches high, and glass slides were placed on each side to promote a movie, illuminated by a bulb. The slides could be removed for each new feature.
Not only was it strange and unique, it was a good price. I would have bought it except for one problem: how to get it home.
My luggage was stuffed to the point it created its own gravity. It wouldn’t accommodate a tissue, let alone a countertop lamp.
I couldn’t ship it because it was a Sunday, every shipping option was closed, and my flight left early in the morning. I had to let it go. The loss still pains me, as I think of it as the one that got away.
So what to do if you should you buy more than you intended, or something larger than will fit in your baggage, and the shipping options are unavailable or too expensive?

Buy a cheap suitcase in Chinatown.

Cheap luggage on a Chinatown sidewalk.

The luggage you see displayed on the sidewalks in Chinatown are correctly displayed. They are functional trash. They are cheaply made with poor quality materials and the prices reflect this. But they will last one flight. Maybe even two, but you’ll only need one.
Even if you have to pay for an extra bag, it might be close to what you would pay for shipping, and possible cheaper. If you buy a carry-on size, you can get it checked for free when the airline invariably asks passengers if anyone wants to check their carry bag at the gate.

Cheap Chinatown luggage.

Don’t pass up buying that amazing thing because you lack luggage space. Chinatown has all you need. Including cold drinks and fireworks.

Cold drinks and fireworks sign in Chinatown

Specs’–the Best Dive Bar and San Francisco

Years ago in Hamburg a friend I and were wandering and came across Harry’s Harbor Bazaar. As I remember it was two buildings, connected by an upstairs doorway created by bashing through adjacent walls. It was a three story warren, a maze, a labyrinth, crammed with stuff supposedly collected from an old pub that accepted things like masks, shrunken heads, carvings, idols, and musical instruments sailors brought from their travels and traded for booze. You could buy most anything on display, but the majority of people just walked the aisles stunned not only by the oddity but the sheer vastness of the collection. It has changed owners and locations since I was there, but it still retains the charm of an overstuffed Natural History museum storage room arranged in haste for an inspection.

One of the many idols you will see at Specs. The walls and shelves at Specs are filled with antiques, treasures, and oddities.

The collection at Specs’ Twelve Adler Museum Café, or Specs’, isn’t as big, not by a longshot. It’s a bar, after all, not a warehouse-as-museum. But what it lacks in size more than makes up for by serving drinks to a cast of North Beach regulars who fit nicely into the ambiance the artifacts create.

There is dust on the upper shelves and stuff too far away for someone to reach, because if someone can’t touch it why bother dusting it? The walls and ceilings are brown from decades of burning tobacco and occasional pot, a reminder of times when smoking was allowed indoors. It is cramped and therefor friendly. You will likely have to squeeze by other patrons, maybe even share one of the bigger tables, and the close proximity inspires spontaneous casual conversations.

Some of the North Beach regulars hanging out at Specs.

If you’re lucky, you may wander in when there is music, book reading, or sketch class.

Mr. Lucky and the band performing at Specs.

Spec’s is the kind of bar a good traveler hopes to discover. It’s off the tourist path, has a unique eccentricity, and caters to the locals.

I encourage my guests to get a drink here, Tosca across the alley, and Vesuvio’s across the street. The three bars put together give a good overview of the spirit of North Beach.

Specs’ Twelve Adler Museum Cafe

12 William Saroyan Place, 94133  Phone 415-421-4112

4pm-1am, 2am Thursday-Saturday

Small Car Big Time Tours makes the San Francisco Chronicle

On Christmas day, 2023, I got a great present.
A front page story in the San Francisco Chronicle. And it was above the fold. For those not familiar with newspaper jargon, “above the fold” is where a paper puts the eye grabbing stories. Not bad.
I got to spend time with reporter Peter Hartlaub. We traveled all over the city, talking about San Francisco history. He, like me, loves the city.

Reed and the MINI. Photographer: Jessica Christian/The Chronicle

Me and the MINI Cooper about to take guests out for a private San Francisco tour. Photographer: Jessica Christian/The Chronicle

Big props must go to photographer Jessica Christian. She made me look good. I’m not a bad-looking guy in person, but somehow I take lousy pictures. Or maybe I just think that, such as people generally don’t like hearing their own voice. Whatever the reason I don’t like photos of myself, I like what I see with what Jessica took. These are not photo shopped. She’s has the mad skills.

Fire Hydrants and Friends–my photo hobby

A few years ago I noticed that people will dispose of unwanted stuff next to fire hydrants. These items are never put in the middle of the sidewalk, and only rarely, on a corner without a hydrants.

Chair and frying pan next to a fire hydrant in San Francisco.

I only have a vague theory about why people do this. Not the throwing stuff on the street aspect. It’s clear why that happens: people either put it out on the street convincing themselves it is a somewhat benevolent notion because someone will want it, or, more likely, they’re just dumping it knowing sooner or later the city will pick it up.

Basket and boxes next to a fire hydrant in San Francisco.

But why next to a hydrant? I think it’s because since something is already on the street, i.e. the hydrant, then it is fair game to put other stuff next to it. This theory does not apply to trash cans, as putting trash next to a trash can would appear lazy or redundant.

Cat Tree next to a fire hydrant in San Francisco.

I started taking photos of these objects.

Christmas tree stand next to a fire hydrant in San Francisco.

Occasionally when I’m taking people out on a tour of San Francisco, I notice abandoned semi-junk next to fire hydrants. I will often, usually, ask my guests permission to stop the tour clock for a minute while get out of the MINI and snap the display.

Scooter and raquets next to a fire hydrant in San Francisco.

It is possible that on your private tour of San Francisco, you may have an opportunity to indulge me in my hobby.

Green chair next to a fire hydrant in San Francisco.

 

Green Apple Books—The Best Used (and New) Bookstore in San Francisco

My apartment is filled with books. What books don’t fit on shelves are stacked next to my bed, my current read (usually on some aspect of San Francisco or California history) within easy reach so I can fill my head with stories and facts before falling asleep. There are also books occupying floor space, and there are a couple of bins in the storeroom filled with books I read and perhaps will one day get rid of but probably not.
There is a Japanese word for acquiring more books than you might get around to reading:Tsundoku. Some dismiss this as little more than book hoarding. They are wrong. Being surrounded by books is different than navigating piles of string too short to throw away and a mountain of broken toaster ovens found on the street.
Most of the books in my tsundoku shrine came from Green Apple books
Green Apple Books--Best Used bookstore in San Francisco
If you like bookstores, and the most best travelers do, Green Apple should be a destination on your visit to San Francisco.
There are three floors of books, connected by a small warren of staircases.
It smells like a bookstore. A bit musty, an olfactory quality from the various ages and conditions of the millions of pages between thousands of covers.
One of the many staircases in Green Apple Books
“Used bookstore smell” should be included in the vocabulary of sommeliers. It would describe a wine I’d buy a case of. But I digress.
More books! Green Apple always has more books to discover.
Speaking of wine, this is a dangerous place for me to visit after a couple of glasses. I always find a book I need, or just want, or just feels right in my hand no matter when I go to Green Apple. But under the influence of a good Malbec or Zin, I discover more books than usual to feed my tsundoku habit.
Green Apple Books is located on Clement St in the Richmond District. This is an overlooked street that should not be overlooked. After wandering the aisles, you can go to The Blue Danube for coffee and read your new acquisitions.  Or go to one of the bars. Few things in life are better than a glass of wine and a good book. Enjoy yourself like a local.
Green Apple Books 506 Clement St. (at 6th Ave) 415-387-2272 Open daily 10am-9pm

Chocolate Covered—The Best, Biggest Little Chocolate Store in the World (probably)

Maybe not the world, but definitely San Francisco and if I had a mortgage I would bet it on the assumption there aren’t any shops small with such a variety of chocolate. The selection is so vast you could get lost in it except you can’t because shop isn’t any wider and longer than a stretch limo.

Chocolate Covered San Francisco.

The store is narrow, but tall.  Entering you experience a sense of delight and wonder because you’ve never seen anything like it before. Chocolate from around the globe cram shelves 7 feet high. There are chocolate bars, of course, but also novelty shapes (such as cars and baseballs), and small single wrapped bites.

Chocolate bars in Chocolate Covered San Francisco.--What you can see on a private tour of the city.

Chocolate makers from around the world contact the shop to let them know of their latest artisan products and inventive flavors. The shop has been around since 1994, and the owner, Jack Epstein claims “1,248 different chocolate bars in here, from over 28 countries, from more than 125 different companies.”

Tins and chocolate cover the walls of Chocolate Covered in San Francisco.

What wall space isn’t covered in chocolate is covered with tins you fill with chocolate. Photos of what looks like every street sign in San Francisco are available, which reminded me of those rack of souvenir license plates that have names. Except mine. The racks never had “Reed,” so I never got a little license plate at a roadside gift shop. There is a “Reed” street in San Francisco.

Reed Kirk Rahlmann, owner of Small Car Big Time Tours, holding a tin with his name on it.

Chocolate Covered is off the usual tourist path, but worth the detour if you love chocolate. Even if you’re just indifferent to chocolate it’s worth the trip.

4069 24th Street (Noe Valley)
San Francisco, CA 94114
Ph: (415) 641-8123

New May Wah–A Grocery Store with Everything You Never Knew You Wanted

Not everything about visiting a city is the major sites, tourist attractions, and eating at restaurants from the Food Network. Those should not be overlooked, because a site like the Golden Gate Bridge is famous for a reason, Fisherman’s Wharf does have a history hidden behind the overabundance of tee-shirt shops. Even the Food Network can get it right once in a while, although when a restaurant gets on television getting a reservation is less likely than finding a magic unicorn who spits winning lottery tickets.

To experience a city like a local, you’ve got to do what locals do. In San Francisco, stroll around a neighborhood with no destination in mind. Go to a restaurant at least a mile from Fisherman’s Wharf. Go to a grocery store, especially the New May Wah in the overlooked Richmond District.

New May Wah Supermarket on Clement StreetI’m betting you don’t have a store like the New May Wah in your town and if you do, consider yourself lucky and blessed and the envy of those who don’t.

The New May Wah is neighborhood market on Clement St, which used to be known as Little Chinatown. It carries a lot of ingredients for Chinese dishes, and more. Oh, so much more. And you want it. You don’t know you want it, but once you see it, you’ll ask where has this been all my life?

There are shelves of potato chips with flavors far beyond anything you’ll find at a suburban supermarket.  The selection changes regularly and every time I go in I find something new.  Squid. Spicy Squid. Cucumber. Tzatziki. I got “Duck Neck” flavor once. As I’ve never eaten a duck neck I’m going to take their word that’s what it tastes like when infused in a chip . Authenticity aside, it was tasty.

There is an entire aisle devoted to sauces and condiments not only from China, but Japan, Mexico, Korea, Indonesia, England and those are only the countries I can remember. Buy something from this section to spice up meals back home.

Potato chips at the New May Wah

Sauces and condiments at the New May Wah.

There is also a vast array of candy from every corner of the globe. Some of these are worth buying just because of the whimsically surreal packaging. This is the kind of souvenir everyone back home will love. Also a fun place to bring the kids. Much more entertaining than the M&M store in Times Square.

At the New May Wah you’ll spend time with the locals and experience San Francisco like we get to. This is the type of store you will talk to your friends about when you get back home. They will enjoy the exotic treats you bring them, and be impressed you saw something more than the usual stuff, which, as I said, are worth seeing.

New May Wah 707 Clement St, San Francisco, CA 94118 8:30am-7pm everyday

My Stupid but Functional Hat

I have a cool car. The convertible Green MINI, which I am proud to say is the only MINI Cooper convertible registered as a commercial vehicle in the United States.

But I wear a really uncool hat.

I don’t like the sun, so of course I created a business where I’m in the sun all day. So I wear my functional but stupid hat.

Reed and the green Mini and a guest. My guest is wearing a fine hat. Mine is stupid.

I try to look nice. I wear a suit and tie on tours. The tie is green, as is my pocket square. My vest has green stripes, and sometimes I wear green shoes. Most tour guides dress like they rolled out of bed and put on the first thing they picked up from the floor. I like to have a little style.

But I haven’t found a cool hat that will keep the sun off. So I wear a ugly functional one.

Me and my stupid hat and my cool guests, next to the San Francisco bay by the Golden Gate Bridge.

 

Fortunately, my guests don’t seem to mind. That’s because I get to give great San Francisco private tours to fun and interesting people, who overlook my stupid hat.  And, as you can see from this picture, it doesn’t always keep the sun off me.

I really need to get a better hat.

Pros and Cons of MINI Cooper San Francisco Private Tours

There are many tour options in San Francisco. You can take a big bus, a minivan, and SUV, even a firetruck. You can also tour the city in a convertible MINI Cooper. Here are the pros can cons of various tour options.
Big bus Tours-Pros. You get to sit up high (unless you have to sit down below). You have the fun of standing around on the sidewalk when you get out to visit a site. Since the busses are banned from many places in San Francisco, you don’t have to worry about making choices or seeing too much. You get exercise by walking several blocks to the sites you really want to see, such as the Painted Ladies and Lombard St. Cons: You may miss a bus at a pickup point, or get lost. Not private a private tour.

Van Tours- Pros: You get to share your vacation time with strangers, who will want to talk about subjects other than the tour so you won’t be bored learning about the city. You don’t have to think about where you’re going or for how long, as you are on a schedule. If you’re lucky enough to sit next to a window, you can pretend you’re watching the city on television. Cons: When you look up you see the roof of the car, not the city. Not a private tour.

Private MINI Cooper Tour: Pros: Door to door pickup and drop off. Stop where you want, as long as you want. Flexible itinerary, time of pickup, and duration. Go anywhere. No sharing tour time with strangers. In the convertible you’re IN the city all the time. Photo ops every moment. Knowledgeable guide with 25 years studying, exploring, and writing about San Francisco. See the big sites and hidden gems. The tour is all about you. Cons: Can only take 3 people.

Pinball in the Haight Ashbury

One of the benefits of walking a city is discovery. I’m not claiming this as a great insight, as it is a trope of most travel writers. And while it may be a cliche, it is also a fact, and one, sadly, that most visitors ignore in a mad dash to check off as many sites as possible.
Even in San Francisco, a city I’ve lived in for all of my adult life, I’m grateful I can still find something unexpected and new.


In this case–pinball. I was out walking several months ago and took a turn down a street I usually pass on my way to Haight St. And there I found a pinball parlor.
A fair amount of my youth was spent spending my allowance and newspaper route money on pinball. I got pretty good. Not hustler good, but skilled enough for a satisfying frequency of winning free games.

Free Gold Watch (yes, that’s the name) is located a block away from Haight St, and across the street from Golden Gate Park, and 5 blocks away from InoVino, my regular Friday night wine bar.

There are a variety of machines, but my favorites are in a room devoted to vintage games. The older machines are not overloaded with lights, bells, whistles, and traps like the newer models, and the angles aren’t as steep.

Fun for the whole family. If you have kids who haven’t played pinball, this is a good opportunity to introduce them to a possibly lifelong habit.

The Blue Danube–Good coffee, good food, and the chance to read someone else’s journals.

A coffee shop, a good local coffee shop, not a chain that has outlets across the street from each other, is a simple joy. It reflects the taste of the owner and the character of the neighborhood. It should feel inviting. It is a place to relax and a cheap way to expand one’s living quarters. People go to coffee shops to get away from the familiarity of their apartments or house, and to be with people while not being obligated to interact with them. On a trip, it is a way to get a sense of what it feels like to be a local.

Blue Danube coffee house on Clement St.

Novelists and screen writers, both professional and would-be, have been writing in some place that served coffee since the caffeine was extracted from the bean. I’m going to bet when the first café opened it was soon filled with customers scrawling poems on parchment. Coffee allows thoughts to flow.

The Blue Danube invites customers to leave those thoughts in blank books. At this writing, they total more than 45. Past volumes are on a shelf for anyone to read.

Journals at the Blue Danube coffee shop on Clement St. Journals at the Blue Danube Coffee shop on Clement St. in San Francisco.

These books are filled with drawings, musings, observations and confessions. Some pages are from travelers writing about their experience of San Francisco. Children write jokes, draw, or play tic-tac-toe. Some write about people they love. Others write confessions of shame, anger, or infidelity.  It is like getting permission to read other people’s mail or diaries.
Page from a journal in the Blue Danube Coffee Shop on Clement St. in San Francisco.Page from a journal in the Blue Danube Coffee Shop on Clement St. in San Francisco.Page from a journal in the Blue Danube Coffee Shop on Clement St. in San Francisco.Page from a journal in the Blue Danube Coffee Shop on Clement St. in San Francisco.

The Blue Danube is located on Clement St, one of favorite streets overlooked by visitors. I’m going to write more about Clement St. in the coming weeks. It is the sort of location that, when I’m giving private tours of San Francisco, I encourage my guests to experience.

Stroll like a local–art, pianos, chairs, giant Doggie Diner heads, and no cars on JFK Drive in Golden Gate Park

JFK Drive in Golden Gate park was car-free on the weekends for years. The pandemic hit in March of 2020 and access to indoor public space was rightfully curtailed (It was necessary to fight the spread of Covid. Sorry if you believe otherwise. Stop listening to Fox News, especially Tucker Carlson. He looks like someone who smelled a monkey fart and is wrestling with the choice to leave the room or kiss the monkey’s butt. Why would you take seriously someone conflicted about monkey farts? But I digress) JFK Drive was closed to cars to create more outdoor public space. Then there was a vote to keep it closed to car traffic permanently or just the weekends. Thankfully, in spite of a lot of yammering from those who cling to their car mobility as a scared right (this coming from someone who makes their living driving), JFK drive is now closed to cars.

The result is a new public promenade inviting skaters, cyclists, walkers, and families to stroll among public art installations, sit in one the abundant yellow Adirondack chairs along the way.

Yellow chairs in Golden Gate Park on JFK Drive.

JFK drive is the main road through the east end of Golden Gate Park. It goes by the Victorian Greenhouse Conservatory of Flowers, and behind the Music Concourse, where the DeYoung Museum, Japanese Tea Garden, and Academy of Sciences are located.

A child enjoying a piano outside the Conservatory of Flowers on JFK Drive in Golden Gate Park.Kid's play on the big blocks of public art on JFK Drive in Golden Gate Park.

Seen on a San Francisco Private Tour--Giant Doggie Diner Head on JFK Drive in Golden Gate Park.

It is a favorite spot for guests to be dropped off after their San Francisco private tour. It’s close to the Haight Ashbury and Inner Sunset neighborhoods, with restaurants and shopping. You could easily spend half a day, or more, exploring what the area has to offer.

Benefits of having a private, local guide.

If you’re going to the effort and expense of taking a tour, make sure you’re getting a local guide. Someone who lives here, who loves the city, and most important, is always learning new things to share with their guests.

There are a lot of people in the tour business don’t live here. While they love the city, they don’t explore it everyday. They don’t make discoveries locals do. And they don’t know their way around the city like locals do. For most of them being a guide is a gig, a job they like. They’re fine.

But why settle for fine?

Fisherman's Wharf postcard 1930's private tour guide looking at crabs

I found this vintage postcard of Fisherman’s Wharf from the 1930’s. I’m including it because I look like the guy with glasses

I live in San Francisco, and have all of my adult life. Before I started Small Car Big Time Tours, I spent my time reading about and exploring the city. I still do. Every day I’m reading about some aspect of San Francisco, the Wine Country, and California History. Every day I’m out in this city I love.

Being a private tour guide is more than a job for me. It’s what I truly love.

As for why you should hire a private guide? That’s easy. Do you want to spend part of your valuable vacation time dealing with strangers, having to wait for them when you’re ready to leave, listening to them yap when you’d rather hear about about the city and sites? Personally, that sounds like a punishment rather than vacation.

A private, custom tour from a local guide will give you an experience that will be truly memorable.

Why I don’t take deposits.

Few things irritate me more, and bring anxiety to a purchase, then having to go through deposit refund policies for tours and tickets. Usually they are non-refundable. With many tour companies you are required to pay the full amount up front, and then it is a game of Beat-the-Clock if you need to cancel. A month out may get you a full refund, but more often than not the company is keeping at least part of the booking. Get down to a week, and you’re probably losing 50-75% of what you put up and if you have to cancel the day before, you forfeit any deposit.

If someone has to cancel a tour, there is a reason for it, usually dealing with an unexpected and unpleasant problem. People don’t cancel because life is going well, full of rainbows and unicorns. Someone got sick, a flight was missed, a car broke down, or worse. If that’s the case, I don’t want to add to the misery by saying “Sorry, on top of all your other problems, you don’t get your money back.”

A tour company owner keeping a big pile of money.
A happy tour company owner keeping your deposit.

While I like to give as many tours as possible, I’ve also got many other projects going on. I can fill my day. Also I get a lot of late minute requests for private, custom tours, and those people are thrilled they could book their private tour at the last minute.

I’ve only had 3 guests cancel on me as I was waiting for them in front of their hotel. One person said they were sick with food poisoning. Not sure if that was true, but it didn’t matter. They sounded sick, so if they were faking I gave them points for the effort to sound like they would vomit any second. Another guest said they were sorry, but were really, really hung over. Points for being honest. At least I’m guessing they were honest. Maybe they had food poisoning and were too embarrassed to say so.

The third person didn’t answer several texts and calls as I waited outside the hotel. Finally they answered the phone, and said they just changed their mind and didn’t want to take their tour. Fine with me. Anyone so clueless, rude, and entitled who cancels like that is not someone I want to spend time with.

When you contact me for a tour, all I ask is that you confirm 48 hours in advance. That’s it. No money upfront. And if you cancel, I hope the problem isn’t too serious.

Best Dim Sum in San Francisco and it’s not in Chinatown—Xiao Long Bao

Chinatown boasts a lot of good dim sum bakeries. The Good Mong Kok sports huge lines on weekends, which I’m guessing is a result of being Instagramed and Yelped to death. Not that it isn’t good, it is, but rare is the dumpling worth investing 30 minutes standing on a sidewalk for and so far I haven’t found it.

Xiao Long Bao Restaurant in San Francisco--Best Dim Sum

Even at Xiao Long Bao I’m only waiting 10 minutes. OK, maybe 15.
This is located on Clement St, which is under visited by tourists. Which is too bad because there is much to discover on this Richmond district street. On the other hand it may be a blessing, because I’d rather Clement St not be invaded by hoards of wanna-be influencers taking selfies holding a soup dumpling while making duck lips.

Xioa Long Boa display counter filled with delicious food

Because Xiao Long Bao is busy serving neighborhood locals, the dumplings, scallion pancakes, buns don’t get a chance to sit around for long. Everything is fresh, and soups are made to order.

Xiao Long Boa Big Menu

The menu is bigger than most dim sum places, and it doesn’t include everything available. There are items in the case they didn’t have room for.

Don’t expect the crew to be overly friendly or effusive. They are trying to serve up food quickly to many hungry people. They are glad to answer questions, but only to a point. If you’re really confused about what to order, take your chances and order what looks good. It probably will be. And maybe order a few more things than usual because if you get something you don’t like, you can move on. Dim sum is cheap and worth the little risk.

By the way, anyone who knocks stars off a place like this because the didn’t like the service is a self-involved idiot. Maybe they just didn’t like their duck lips.

Weirdness and Wine Sculpture in Golden Gate Park

Outside the DeYoung Museum in Golden Gate Park is one of my favorite sculptures, because is about wine. Titled “Le Poeme de la Vigne,” this Poem of Wine is no formal honorific to viticulture. It is a celebration of wine in the form of a mad bacchanalian dreamscape rendered in 3 tons, 11 feet of bronze.

Wine sculpture Golden Gate Park

A little backstory. This piece was created by French illustrator and sculpture Gustove Doré for the 1878 Paris World’s Fair. From there it traveled to the Chicago World’s Fair of 1893, (which was the setting for novel “The Devil in the White City”). San Francisco, feeling a little insecure on the world stage, was anxious to prove that it could also host a fair. A lot of stuff from Chicago’s Fair was purchased and used for San Francisco’s 1894 Midwinter Fair, including Le Poeme de la Vigne.” Several years after the fair Michael DeYoung bought it.

Cherub fighting spider

Starting from the base and going to the top, the sculpture is the story of wine. The best strangeness is at eye level. Here a small army of cherubs fight off a stunning variety of vermin and pests ready to attack the grapes and vines.

Cherub fighting rat

Armed only with chubby hands and fists, examples include one pulling the tail of a rat, another fending off a beetle, and another wrestles what may be a tarantula but is certainly a big spider, a spider as big as the cherub itself.

Just above the heroic putti is the harvesting of the grapes. Then fermentation, and at the top, indulgence of the efforts. If I had to battle a spider as big as myself, I’d need a drink too.

Poem de la Vigne in Golden
 Gate Park

By the way, the sculpture across the road does not show a muscled man work a wine press. He’s crushing apples. Not nearly as much fun as wine.